Are you ready to go on an amazing arcade adventure? Sure you are!
Join Ethel the Valkyrie, Brian the Barbarian and Dave the Shepherd in an epic battle against an incredible evil! And sheep! And clowns! And sheep! And a pirate! And some doggies*! But mainly sheep.
SIMPLE, ADDICTIVE GAMEPLAY! Think Zelda crossed with Peggle! Just tap once and watch loads of stuff explode on screen. You will probably be one of those things!
AMAZING PIXEL ART! Drawn by Army of Trolls, one of the art forms grand masters. Hes basically like Picasso, if Picasso was weirdly infatuated with SNES graphics.
TEN HUGE LEVELS! Viewed from far enough away to appear very small!
A WHOLE BUNCH OF ENEMIES! I mean, I haven’t counted them, but there are really quite a lot. I’m going to say 30 here. It could be more. Like 32? Really, its 50? Wow. Loads anyway.
INCREDIBLE MUSIC FROM PIXELEE! Like, it is actually good. You should totally turn it on next time you’re at home or have headphones in. Also, if you play it backwards on your turntable, you can hear Paul McCartney urging you to buy in app purchases.
HATS! There are some hats to win. In the game. Not real hats. Game hats. Yay hats!
HI SCORES! Take on Instant Hero alone, or battle for high-score with your friends and co-workers and whoever else you persuaded to accept your Game Center requests. There are also some amazingly fun achievements to do.
DAVE THE SHEPHERD! Hi, Dave the shepherd here, I just wanted to say hi and, you know, make sure you were all doing ok. I’ve been having a great time recently, couldn’t be happier if I’m honest. Anyway, you should come by my house once you get the game! Just be careful to avoid the… hang on my phones ringing. Hold that thought!
BORING BIT! Instant Hero is totally free to play, but you can buy some stuff inside it if you want to, with real money. Theres also a metric ton of ads, but heres the deal - if you buy even one IAP, the game will automatically strip them out. Forever!
Oh, and if you have any issues with the game, or want to send us cookies or marriage proposals, you can find us on Twitter (www.twitter.com/instantherogame) or facebook (www.facebook.com/instantherogame)
*Look, sorry, we lied about the doggies. But there are kittens**!
**Tigers are kittens, right?